Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i think i have two assholes
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
