Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
