So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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