We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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