I'm pants shitting drunk right now
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
