Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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