just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just tell him i said nine months
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
