The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
