please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
