Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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