I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
