Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
