I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need to calm my uterus...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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