I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
