please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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