Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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