i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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