the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
that is very illegal...i love you.
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