If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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