what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
