i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
