Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
