This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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