and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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