Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
