talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
