In the future we'll all be gay
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
