just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i will never coherently bang her
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
