so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
