just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
