I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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