I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
