so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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