he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have fence marks all over my body
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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