We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
