My friends, they love my intelligence
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
