Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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