God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
