i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
