Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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