FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
