Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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