my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
