And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize