is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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