Welp...herpes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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