Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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