Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
