clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
