I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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