I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
