my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
