summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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