You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
